There is something in every one of us that we are holding on to. Something we have never fully said out loud. A regret. A relationship. A version of ourselves we cannot seem to leave behind. And somewhere, deep inside, we know we need to let it go. But we just do not know how.
I want to start this with something very personal. Something I have never found easy to talk about.
When my father passed away, I was not prepared for the wave of guilt that came with the grief. Not just sadness, but this heavy, suffocating feeling that I had not been a good daughter. My father and I were never the easy kind of close. I was rebellious. Whatever he said, I wanted to do the opposite. I pushed back. I questioned. & I resisted. And for years after he was gone, I carried that. I kept replaying every argument, every moment I had not listened, every time I had chosen my stubbornness over his love. & I told myself the story over and over: I was not good enough. I had let him down.
It stayed with me for a long time. Until one full moon night.
I sat down with a blank notebook and I just started writing. I did not plan it. & I did not think about what I wanted to say. & I just wrote. Three pages. Four pages. I lost count. & I wrote to him. I told him everything I had never said. The love I had hidden behind my defiance. The pride I felt in being his daughter, even when I could not show it. The ways his strictness, the very things I had fought against, had shaped me into the woman I had become.
And I cried. Deeply. The kind of crying that comes from somewhere you did not even know was still hurting.
When I put the pen down, something had shifted. I felt lighter. Not like the grief was gone, but like I had finally put down a weight I had been carrying alone for far too long. That was the night I truly understood what letting go means. Not forgetting. Not pretending. & Not acting like it did not hurt. But releasing the pain, and keeping the love.
I now believe my father was not strict to break me. He was shaping me. And wherever he is, I believe he is proud.
That full moon letter changed something in me permanently. And it is why I am so passionate about sharing the power of letting go rituals, especially on full moon nights, with all of you. Because when you give your pain a voice, when you let it out with intention and love, the healing that follows is beyond anything I can describe in words.
So today, let us talk about what letting go really means. Not the surface version. The real one.
Letting Go Is Not What You Think It Is
Let me be honest with you. Letting go is probably one of the most misunderstood spiritual concepts out there. People think it means:
- Pretending the pain never happened
- Forgiving someone before you are ready
- Suppressing your feelings and moving on quickly
- Being unbothered, like nothing touched you
But none of that is letting go. That is just avoidance dressed up in spiritual clothing.
Real letting go is an inner shift. It is the moment you stop allowing a person, a memory, an event, or a belief to control your energy, your choices, and your peace. It does not mean the memory disappears. & It means the memory no longer has power over you.
| Letting go does not mean the past did not matter. It means you have chosen your inner freedom over your attachment to pain. |
What Are We Actually Letting Go Of?
This is where I want to go deeper with you, because letting go is not just about one thing. Over the years, I have seen people hold on to so many different kinds of pain. Let me walk you through each one.
1. Letting Go of People
This is the one that breaks us the most. A relationship that ended. A friend who walked away. A parent who never understood you. A lover who chose someone else.
I have sat with this pain myself. And what I have learned is that holding on does not bring them back. It only keeps you emotionally tied to a chapter that has already closed. Letting go of a person means releasing the version of them you wished they had been. It means grieving the relationship and then choosing yourself.
2. Letting Go of the Past
The past is heavy. Old mistakes. Regrets. Moments you wish had gone differently. I have worked with so many people who are still living inside their worst memories, replaying them on loop, punishing themselves for things that are long over.
Letting go of the past means you acknowledge what happened, you learn from it, and then you stop using it as a weapon against yourself.
3. Letting Go of Limiting Beliefs
This one is subtle but deeply powerful. Limiting beliefs are the stories we carry inside us, things like: I am not good enough. I do not deserve love. I will always struggle. & I am too much or not enough.
These beliefs were often planted in childhood, sometimes by people who loved us but were themselves wounded. Letting go here means recognizing the belief, questioning its truth, and consciously choosing a new story.
4. Letting Go of Outcomes
We plan, we work hard, we hope, and then life takes a completely different turn. Letting go of outcomes does not mean giving up. It means doing your best and releasing your grip on how things should unfold.
This, I believe, is one of the deepest forms of trust in the universe.
5. Letting Go of Identity
Sometimes we hold on to who we used to be. The successful version. The young version. The version before grief, illness, or loss changed us. Letting go of an old identity is one of the most courageous things a soul can do. It makes space for who you are becoming.
What the Bhagavad Geeta Teaches Us About Letting Go
The Bhagavad Geeta does not use the phrase letting go, but it teaches the philosophy of it more beautifully than anything I have ever read.
Lord Krishna speaks to Arjuna about a concept called Nishkama Karma: doing your action without attachment to the result. This is not indifference. This is the highest form of engagement. You show up fully, you give everything you have, and then you release the outcome to the universe.
He also speaks about the impermanence of all things, about how the soul is eternal while bodies, circumstances, and relationships are all passing. When we understand this deeply, holding on so tightly begins to feel unnecessary.
| What We Hold Onto | What the Geeta Says | The Spiritual Truth |
| A painful relationship | You are not the body or the emotion | The soul remains untouched |
| A lost opportunity | What is yours will always find you | Trust the divine timing |
| Old identity and roles | Change is the only constant | Your true self is eternal |
| Anger and blame | Equanimity is the highest state | Peace comes from within |
The Geeta also speaks about Vairagya, which is often translated as detachment but really means freedom from craving and aversion. It is not about becoming cold or distant. It is about being fully present without being enslaved by what you want or what you fear.
How Do You Actually Start to Let Go?
There is a book I keep coming back to called The Mountain Is You by Brianna Wiest. One idea in it shifted something in me completely. She talks about how you simply cannot force yourself to let go. And the more desperately you try, the more tightly you end up holding on.
I have experienced this myself. The moment I would tell myself, okay, today I am letting this go, the pain would feel even louder. It is like when someone tells you not to think about something, and that becomes the only thought you cannot shake. Our hearts are no different. Pressure creates resistance. The harder we push, the deeper the attachment grows.
So, what do you do instead?
You give yourself permission. Permission to cry, to break, to not have it together. You stop fighting the grief and you let it move through you. Because here is what I have discovered, and what I have watched happen for so many people I have worked with: when you stop trying to hold yourself together so tightly, you find out that you were never actually falling apart.
You were just healing.
And that is when letting go quietly begins.
Not in some big dramatic moment of clarity. Not after a retreat or a ritual or a revelation.
- It begins on an ordinary day, with one small step forward.
- It begins the day you decide to build something new, even while you are still crying over what you lost.
- It begins the day you realise that staying exactly where you are is no longer something you can choose.
- It begins the moment you understand that this pain, this exact moment, is the turning point. The kind that changes the whole story.
And it truly begins when something lands in your bones, not just your mind:
YOU WILL NEVER FIND PEACE STANDING IN THE RUINS OF WHAT YOU USED TO BE.
You can only move forward by building something new.
Practical Spiritual Ways to Let Go
This is the part I know you have been waiting for. Because understanding is one thing, but doing the work is another. Here are some of the most powerful practices I recommend.
1. Feel It Before You Free It
You cannot skip the feeling. Grief, anger, sadness, disappointment, these are not problems to fix. They are emotions to move through. Give yourself full permission to feel what you feel. Cry if you need to. Write it all out in a journal. Scream into a pillow. Let the energy move.
2. Shadow Journaling
Shadow work is one of the most transformative tools I have used personally and taught to thousands. When we write honestly about what we are holding, when we shine light on the dark corners of our inner world, we begin to release it. My course on Shadow Journaling for Inner Child Healing is designed exactly for this. If you feel called to go deeper, I invite you to explore it at Dr. Neetik Kaushik Website
3. Ho’oponopono Prayer
This ancient Hawaiian healing prayer is something I come back to again and again. When I am holding resentment toward someone, or even toward myself, I sit quietly and repeat: I am sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.
It sounds simple. It is profoundly healing. This prayer does not absolve the other person of responsibility. It frees YOU from the energetic cord of pain.
If you want to go deeper with this practice, I have created an Advanced Ho’oponopono Healing Journey, a full audio course that takes you through this healing at a much deeper level. It is one of the most powerful things I have put together, and I have seen it transform people who had been stuck in pain for years. You can find it at Dr. Neetik Kaushik Website
4. Cord-Cutting Visualization
Close your eyes. Imagine a cord of light connecting you to the person, memory, or situation you want to release. See it clearly. Then, with love and intention, visualize cutting that cord. Not with anger. With grace. Say: I release you. I free myself. I choose peace.
5. Working with Crystals
For releasing grief and old emotional weight, I always recommend Black Tourmaline for protection and cleansing, Smoky Quartz for transmuting heavy energy, Rhodochrosite for healing emotional wounds and finding forgiveness, Rhodonite for reconnecting with your inner child and opening your heart to joy again, and Ammonite for grounding your energy and bringing a sense of completion to old cycles. You can find all of these at Shop Dr. Neetik Kaushik Website
6. The Inner Child Re-Entry Practice
- Close your eyes. Find the feeling in your body that is uncomfortable. This is your portal.
- Follow that feeling and ask it to show you where it started. A time. A place. A memory.
- Re-enter that memory gently. Imagine you are back where it all began.
- Now, as your present self, your healed, wiser, older self, sit beside your younger self in that moment.
- Tell them why this, as painful as it is, is absolutely for the best. Tell them what they need to hear, what they need to do, where they need to go.
- And most importantly, tell your younger self that everything, yes everything, is going to be okay. That the fears are largely unfounded. That the good things are coming. That life will turn out well.
You cannot change what happened in the past. But by shifting your perspective of it, you can change how you feel right now. You can change the story. & You can change your life.
You can stop holding on to the old version of yourself that was required to be someone you inherently are not.
| Instead of longing for what you did not get then, release yourself from the past and start putting your energy into creating that experience now. |
The Full Moon: The Most Powerful Time to Let Go
Here is something I want you to know. Nature gives us a sacred window for releasing every single month. And it is the Full Moon.
The full moon is energetically one of the most powerful times for emotional release. Think of it like a cosmic tide that pulls things up to the surface. Everything that has been hidden, suppressed, or stuck begins to rise.
On every full moon, I share a special letting go ritual on my YouTube channel. And here is what makes it unique: each full moon falls in a different zodiac sign, and the energy of that sign completely shapes what we are being asked to release.
- A full moon in Scorpio calls us to release deep fears and hidden pain
- A full moon in Capricorn asks us to let go of rigidity and old structures
- A full moon in Aries invites us to release anger and the need to control
- A full moon in Pisces asks us to let go of illusions and old grief
Each month, I create a ritual that is completely specific to that moon’s energy. Sometimes it is a journaling practice. Sometimes a breathwork exercise. & Sometimes a meditation or a fire ceremony intention. No two full moons look the same.
| Every full moon, I share a new letting go ritual on my YouTube channel– “Nitty Gritty With Dr Neeti Kaushik”. Tailored to the zodiac sign, the cosmic energy, and what we all need to release that month. Visit my channel and search for the latest full moon ritual. Your release is waiting. |
I have had people write to me saying that one full moon ritual changed their relationship with themselves forever. That they cried for an hour and felt lighter than they had in years. That they finally released a relationship they had been holding for a decade.
The moon does not judge. She just holds space. And when you show up with an open heart, the release can be breathtaking.
A Final Word From My Heart to Yours
Letting go is not a one-time event. It is a practice. Some days you will feel free, and then something will happen, a song, a smell, a conversation, and the grief will rush back in.
That is okay. That is human. & That is part of being a soul in a body.
But each time you choose to release instead of grip, each time you choose your peace over your pain, you are doing something sacred. You are choosing yourself. You are choosing freedom. & You are aligning with the truth that your soul has always known: you were never meant to carry this weight forever.
| You are not your past. You are not your pain. You are the awareness that has the power to release it all and begin again. |
If you are ready to go deeper into this work, I want to hold your hand through it. My courses on Ho’oponopono Healing, Shadow Journaling, and Self-Love are all designed to take you from holding to healing.
- Explore all courses: (Visit Now)
- Find healing crystals and tools: (Shop Now)
- Watch my full moon letting go rituals: Visit my YouTube channel (Nitty Gritty with Dr Neeti Kaushik) and search for the latest full moon video
- Read more spiritual guides: Dr. Neeti Kaushik Website
With love and light,