How I Learned to Love My Own Company: How Solitude Made Me Stronger

There was a time in my life when I felt the need to constantly be around people. It wasn’t because I lacked confidence or independence; rather, I had become so accustomed to fulfilling the roles of teacher, principal, parent, friend, and mentor that I seldom found moments of true solitude. I was always doing something for others, supporting them, guiding them, and helping them grow. Somewhere along the way, I forgot the importance of pausing, being still, and truly listening to myself.

I’m Dr. Neeti Kaushik, and I welcome you to another life lesson from my journey.

The Wake-Up Call

It wasn’t until I faced certain challenges that I realized how much I had been missing by not spending time with myself. The demands of a busy life had distracted me from what my own heart and mind were saying. At first, the idea of solitude felt daunting. The quiet could be unsettling, especially for someone who was so used to constant noise, both literal and figurative.

But life has a way of guiding us when we need it most. A few years ago, I decided to take a sabbatical from my professional commitments, a choice that I later realized was my soul’s way of asking me to explore my inner self. This period of solitude became a journey of transformation.

Lesson 1: Finding Peace in Stillness

In the beginning, solitude felt like emptiness. I wasn’t used to sitting alone with my thoughts without having something to plan or someone to advise. But slowly, as I embraced the silence, I found that it was not emptiness but space. Space to think, reflect, and simply be.

One of the most profound experiences on my journey to solitude was a 10-day retreat I took by the sea. I remember standing on the shore, the waves gently crashing, the rhythmic sound filling me with a sense of calm I hadn’t felt in years. The sea has a way of mirroring life’s own ebbs and flows, and as I listened to the waves, I felt as though each one washed away a layer of stress and mental clutter. Being near the ocean, I began to realize that solitude wasn’t lonely; it was healing.

Every night, I would wind down by listening to Earl Nightingale’s recordings—his words were like an anchor, grounding my mind as I prepared for sleep. This nightly ritual became a comfort, a reminder of my own potential and purpose. I listened to him for more than a month, and each time, his insights helped me see that peace was something I could cultivate within myself.

In those days, I also started a practice of meditation and journaling. These two simple activities became my tools for self-discovery.

Through the stillness, I found peace that didn’t come from outside circumstances but from within. I realized that the quiet was not something to fear but a space where I could connect deeply with myself. This experience taught me that peace isn’t something you search for outside; it’s a quality you cultivate within your own heart and mind.

If you’re interested in learning meditation and experiencing its transformative power, I invite you to join my Meditation Course. Through guided practices and supportive teachings, this course is designed to help you find the peace and clarity within you.

Lesson 2: Rediscovering My Inner Strength

Solitude has a unique way of bringing out the strengths you never knew you had. Without external validation or support, I learned to trust my instincts and decisions more deeply. It was liberating to feel that I didn’t need anyone else’s approval to validate my worth. This newfound strength didn’t just make me resilient; it also made me compassionate toward myself.

For so many years, I had been my own harshest critic. But during this journey, I learned to celebrate my victories, forgive my mistakes, and embrace my imperfections. Through solitude, I discovered that I am enough, just as I am. And this revelation brought a profound sense of empowerment.

Lesson 3: The Art of Self-Love

One of the biggest revelations I experienced was that self-love isn’t about achieving a certain level of success or meeting society’s standards—it’s about fully and unconditionally accepting myself. I used to think self-love was indulgent, something tied to shopping trips, pedicures, or dining at my favorite restaurant. And while these moments brought me short bursts of happiness, they often left me feeling empty afterward.

Real self-love, I learned, wasn’t about fleeting pleasures but rather about embracing my true self and valuing my inner worth. It was about giving myself moments of care that nurtured my spirit, not just my senses. Solitude showed me that self-love is essential—it gave me the courage to be vulnerable and to show my true self to the world without fear or shame.

I began with small practices like journaling my thoughts, meditating, and spending time in nature. These moments were gifts I gave to myself, reminders that I was worthy of my own time and affection. The more I practiced self-love, the stronger I felt, and I no longer felt the need to constantly “do” things to feel valued. Instead, I found deep peace in simply being.

If you’re ready to discover your true self and embrace self-love in a meaningful way, I’ve created a beautiful  Self- Love Workshop designed to guide you on this journey. If you’re interested, you’re more than welcome to join!

Lesson 4: Letting Go of External Validation

In solitude, I also learned the importance of letting go of others’ opinions. I used to worry a lot about how people perceived me, always striving to meet expectations, to be “perfect” in my roles. But when I was alone, there was no one to impress, no role to play, no judgment to worry about.

This newfound freedom was life-changing. Letting go of external validation gave me the courage to be my authentic self. I realized that the only approval I truly needed was my own, and that was incredibly liberating.

Also Read: Impact of Small Habits: How Small Changes Can Bring Big Results

Lesson 5: Embracing Life’s Simple Joys

Solitude helped me rediscover the simple joys of life. I found beauty in watching the sunrise, reading a book without distraction, and enjoying a cup of tea in complete silence. These moments, though small, brought me a deep sense of gratitude and connection to life. I no longer needed grand achievements or validation from others to feel fulfilled. Solitude taught me that joy could be found in the present moment, and this perspective brought a richness to my life that I had never known before.

My Companions on This Journey: MULTI TOURMALINE & AQUAMARINE

Throughout this journey of self-discovery, two crystals became like silent companions, supporting my path of self-love and inner strength. MULTI TOURMALINE helped me embrace self-love in its truest form. Known for balancing the energies of the heart, Multi Tourmaline helped me let go of self-doubt and embrace my authentic self. It brought me inner peace and stability, reminding me of my worth every step of the way.

Then there was AQUAMARINE—a stone of tranquility and courage. With its calming energies, Aquamarine helped me confront my inner fears and face my truths without judgment. It encouraged me to be gentle with myself, supporting my journey as I let go of the need for external validation. Aquamarine became my symbol of resilience, helping me face challenges with grace and compassion.

How Solitude Made Me Stronger

Through solitude, I became stronger because I learned to stand on my own, to be content in my own presence, and to love myself for who I am. It taught me that strength doesn’t always come from doing; sometimes, it comes from simply being.

Today, I look at solitude not as a lack of company but as a chance to recharge and reconnect with myself. I cherish these moments because they remind me that I am my own best friend, my own source of strength. This journey was not easy, but it was worth every challenging moment, every tear, every revelation.

Life Lessons I’d Like to Share

For anyone who feels uneasy with solitude or fears being alone, I hope my journey can offer some encouragement. Here are some lessons that may help:

1. Embrace the Stillness: Start small, even if it’s just five minutes a day. Use this time to sit quietly and allow yourself to feel whatever comes up. Don’t resist the discomfort; let it teach you.

2. Celebrate Small Wins: Solitude will help you reconnect with your inner self, so take a moment to appreciate your strengths and victories, no matter how small.

3. Let Go of External Validation: True self-worth comes from within. Once you find peace with yourself, others’ opinions will lose their hold over you.

4. Find Joy in Simplicity: The more you simplify your life, the more room you have for happiness. Solitude can show you the beauty of life’s simple pleasures.

5. Practice Self-Love Consistently: Solitude is a reminder that you are worthy of your own love and care. Prioritize your well-being and take time to nurture yourself.

Closing Thoughts

Learning to love my own company has been one of the most transformative experiences of my life. Solitude taught me to trust, love, and value myself in ways I had never imagined. Now, I carry this strength with me in everything I do. I am no longer afraid to be alone because I know that I am complete as I am.

To those who may feel hesitant about embracing solitude, I encourage you to take that first step. The journey may feel uncertain, but the rewards are profound. Solitude is not isolation; it is an invitation to discover the depth of your own spirit. And, as I have learned, there is a world of strength waiting within you, just waiting to be uncovered. 

For more details, visit my YouTube Channel: “Nitty Gritty With Dr Neeti Kaushik.”