Don’t Compare the children
Would you like it if your child asked you- why aren’t you as beautiful as Sharma aunty or why aren’t you as successful and popular as Amitabh Bachchan?
I am sure the answer would be a NO. I am sure you enjoy the unconditional love of your children where you are the best and you are their HEROES AND SHEROES.
The reason is simple and i.e. as humans, we are designed unique and have a deep desire to be loved and appreciated for our uniqueness. We all love to be hopeful and happy. We wish to trust the fact that we are limitless, that there are abundant possibilities, we like to be confident, we seek acceptance and believe that we are capable.
Do we often ask such hurtful questions to our children or put them in a situation where their individuality is threatened rather than nurtured. Questions and situations like – Why can’t you be like your brother? Why can’t you study as much as Rahul? Why aren’t you as disciplined and courteous as Rhea? Why aren’t you intelligent like Abhinaw? Why don’t you win positions in tournaments? I wish you were as tall as and fair as Teena. I wish you could become a great singer or mathematician. And the list is…….endless. Time to STOP, THINK and REFLECT. This is beautifully explained in one of the video in #nittygrittywithdrneetikaushik https://youtu.be/n-SruzRx2hQ
If yes, please understand that unintentionally we are doing more harm than good to those whom we love the most i.e. our children who completely depend on us to learn about themselves and the world they are into. Our words and attitudes have the capacity to make or break their, self-image and ruin their self-esteem and self-confidence for life. Our words, spoken carelessly leave indelible marks of hurt and pain, impacts our children in their growing up years and finally as adults. They might grow up with low sense of worth and low confidence in their abilities; they might always doubt themselves while facing challenges and taking decisions; they could develop poor social skills and be hesitant to express themselves and participate; The need to always prove themselves and please the other can lead to high stress and anxiety levels. These aspects are enough to mar each and every other aspect in their life that could otherwise be filled with exuberance, be it personal, professional, social or psychological etc; this also causes resentment towards that parent, sibling, friend etc and hampers healthy existence and interaction. https://youtu.be/n-SruzRx2hQ
Theodore Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Never compare as what is important is to acknowledge and nurture the child based on his/her uniqueness. By comparing we try to make a copy of the one that exists ignoring and losing out the uniquely designed individual that is meant to be more. It’s asking Apple to be like mango rather than cherishing the individual qualities, taste, and nourishment received from each fruit separately. The decision is ours whether help our children bloom to their best and true selves or create broken copies of the other. Let us stop hurting them rather motivate them in a responsible and positive manner to be their best and the only competition.
CORONAVIRUS : BOOM OR BANE
CoVID-19 crisis has brought the entire world to a standstill. At the pace at which technological development was taking place globally, we felt that the control of everything in this world is in our hands and we can change whatever we wished to change. However, this pandemic has brought us to a conclusion that we all are mere players in the hands of nature which we had been taking for granted for several decades together. This lockdown gave us time to rethink about the effects of our actions to the environment. It taught us that we have to have empathy in us, we can’t just take from nature; we have to give too. and so is reflected in the videos of #nittygrittywithneetikaushik
So, here a question arises whether CoVID-19 turned out to be a blessing in disguise for the nature?
We were a wounded lot
Wounded by our greed and pride
Privately, in many a voice
She told us she was wounded too
Wounds of love
Wounds of hate
But the wounds of earth do not fill
With sugar or cake
Will time peel this old scum?
And fill the wounds?
Shall we look at old skins, and say?
Where was that gash
Where that gaping wound.
There was a time I used to say, old problems always give new solutions but now will the new problems be solved with old solutions?
“Change is the law of the universe. What you think of as death, indeed life. In one instance you can be a millionaire, and in the other instance, you can be steeped in poverty. Yours and mine, big and small-erase these ideas from your mind. Then everything is your and you belong to everyone”. – By Lord Krishna.
Change is unavoidable. All prediction are not in our hands now. Nobody could have anticipated this disaster which is in front of us. COVID-19 has risen as something new and phenomenal. One thing is sure, nothing will ever be the same again.
1. As we all know that the women still weren’t allowed to work because of their responsibilities at home but now the women can fulfil their dreams by being virtually present at work and physically present at home. Thanks to covid-19.
1. Online learning isn’t an absolute success. There are many challenges that the students are facing during the online schooling. There are less connectivity in remote areas. The poor kids, who were going to government schools have no proper access to online learning from home. There are also slow internet connections in non- urban areas which is causing difficulties for the students living there. There has also been a problem for the children who are mostly indulged in sports and other extracurricular activities because of being isolated at home and not getting any opportunity to play or show their respective talent.
2. Amid the COVID-19 pandemic, Due to the forced restrictions, pollution level in cities across the country drastically slowed down just within few days which magnetize discussions regarding lockdown to be the effectual alternative measures to be implemented for controlling air pollution.
3. The nationwide lockdowns have brought social and economic life to a standstill. The economic stress has started and will grow rapidly. A lot of people also lost their jobs during these crisis. As observed, there is also decline in demands for goods and services by the consumers. The economic loss has been a major problem in the world for all the people.
Amid the Covid-19 pandemic, not only doctors, nurses, and ward boys but our delivery persons, shop owners, and vegetable-fruits vendors, etc., have played a crucial role by providing us timely access to all the necessary items important for survival during all the months of the pandemic. In the end, though the times have been difficult, your dedication towards your work did not shake a bit. I highly appreciate your work. Thank you!
As a conclusions, “what seems to as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise”, and with all the positivity we are in this together and we will get through this together.
Conributed by Likisha Yadav from #Mountolympusschool Gurgaon
WHY DO CHILDREN LIE AND WHAT CAN PARENTS DO TO STOP IT?
Sure it’s a common concern for both parents and teachers. Let us begin to understand what is a lie? The dictionary defines ‘lie’ as ‘an assertion that is believed to be false, typically used with the purpose of deceiving someone.’ If we go by the definition then we must try and find out the WHY behind it.
I am sure you will agree that ‘Nothing happens without a reason.’ So if that’s true, there would be reasons behind lying too. Sounds obvious. We feel troubled when our children lie. Of course, we don’t want our children to tell lies. It’s strange that even when we dig deep to find reasons, we aren’t able to. That’s because we perceive lying as an independent act whereas, it isn’t. We need to clear our lenses and see the right way. We need to understand that lying is a behavior that is seen and that every behavior is nothing but a result/consequence of something latent. This newfound understanding will help us look for something that is not explicit, not tangible but very much there. It’s indeed important to find out what’s behind the behavior.
SHIFTING FROM BLAMING TO FINDING REASONS
It’s time to think about the (whys) behind lying. It’s time to make a shift from mere blaming and complaining to finding the reasons behind why children resort to lying.
- Most of us also see it as an excuse that children make to get their demands fulfilled,
2. At times to save themselves from something undesirable to them
3. To avoid a consequence.
Yes, we are right when we think so. Hence, we need to understand why they are trying to avoid – are they being selfish, are they doing it just for fun, or is it because they are feeling hurt, trying to avoid a conflict or embarrassment, is it about instant gratification, do they fear our reaction to a mistake that has been committed, is there a threat that makes them feel unsafe, is it lack of confidence and self-esteem that they are struggling with, they lack understanding of the situation or they simply want to avoid hurting us….what is it? If we go through the above possibilities again and again we will be able to gain insight about what could be the possible reason behind our children lying.
Once we find out the real (why) we might feel pained to see how we have always or often misunderstood our children. How we have failed to play the role of an experienced and understanding adult. How when we were supposed to console we wanted to be consoled. How we end up denying a helping hand and a healing touch to our children when they need it the most.
Remember! Our children need us the most when they are struggling to make sense of the world around them. We need to positively facilitate them in their exploration and assist them in being confident beings overflowing with love for themselves and others.
As parents and teachers, we should be mindful and cautious in our endeavors to nurture and build our children. Let’s begin by opening our arms and give our children a hearty acceptance,
Don’t we know about the miracles hidden in the lap of belief? Yes, we do.
Believing in children is not simply telling them that we believe in them. These words matter only if they are true and if parents demonstrate them with their actions.
* Do you, as a parent encourage ‘Effort’ more than ‘Achievement’. For you, is it each child’s uniqueness that becomes the guiding light in their individual journey.?
*Children should be encouraged to try and be better than their previous selves. Let your child be made to reflect after each assessment over what they did right, where did they falter, assess their own areas of strength and that of improvement and commit to outperforming themselves.
* Parents who don’t give up and feel that it’s their duty as mentors not to cease believing and strive by giving second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh………chances. This is because they accept the way their child is, appreciate differences, strive, and believe in possibilities that can strike at any time in our lives.
* Don’t Say “You Failed” – Say “You Haven’t Done It Yet”, Parents should encourage hope by letting students know that, no matter what they do, they can still do better.