Feeling Hurt By Other People’s Words: A Journey to Emotional Strength

Words—so simple, yet so powerful. They have the ability to uplift or devastate, to create bonds or to break them. Most of us, at some point, have experienced the sting of a careless remark. It’s a universal experience, and yet when it happens, it feels deeply personal and isolating.

Let me take you back to a moment in my life that taught me profound lessons about handling such situations. This is a story of hurt, introspection, and ultimately, growth.

A Birthday to Remember (or Forget?)

It was my birthday, a day that usually fills me with joy and anticipation. I wanted to feel special, so I carefully selected a dress, one that I thought was perfect. As I slipped into it, I felt radiant. I imagined the compliments I would receive from friends and family.

Then came a comment from someone very close to me—my best friend. She looked at me and said, “Are you crazy? What are you wearing? I didn’t expect someone like you to choose something like this.”

Her words hit me like thunderbolts. This wasn’t just anyone’s opinion—it was my best friend. Someone whose opinion I valued deeply. I was left stunned, my excitement for the day instantly deflated.

I smiled awkwardly and pretended it didn’t matter, but inside, I was devastated. The dress, which I had chosen with so much love, became a symbol of rejection.

The Aftermath: A Battle Within

That dress still hangs in my wardrobe, unworn. Every time I see it, it takes me back to that day. Despite my best efforts to move on, her words lingered, replaying in my mind like a broken record.

• Was my choice really that bad?
• Did the dress not suit my body?
• Why did her words affect me so deeply?

Sleepless nights followed as I struggled with these thoughts. I tried to tell myself not to take it personally, but it wasn’t easy. The hurt wasn’t just about the dress—it was about feeling judged and misunderstood by someone I trusted.

Turning Hurt into Growth

This experience, though painful, became a turning point. I realized that being hurt by someone’s words is inevitable, but how we respond to that hurt is entirely in our hands. Here are the lessons I learned, which I now want to share with you.

1. Understand the Source of the Comment

When someone says something hurtful, it’s natural to internalize it. But more often than not, their words reflect their own insecurities or upbringing.

Perhaps my friend grew up in an environment where criticism was the norm. Maybe her comment wasn’t meant to hurt me but was simply a reflection of her perspective. This doesn’t excuse the hurt but helps us see that the remark may have little to do with us.

Ask yourself: Is this really about me, or is it about them?

2. Speak Up and Express Yourself

Bottling up emotions can turn a passing remark into a lingering wound. I’m didn’t confront my friend that day, but in hindsight, I wish I had said something like:

“I appreciate your honesty, but your comment hurt me. I chose this dress with love, and I felt dismissed.”

By speaking up, we give the other person a chance to understand our perspective. They may not realize the impact of their words until we express how we feel. Communication is key to resolving misunderstandings.

3. Change Your Perspective

When hurt, our “shadow self” often takes over—the part of us that magnifies negativity and self-doubt. This shadow self made me question my appearance, my choices, and even my worth.

But here’s the truth: Your worth isn’t defined by someone else’s opinion.

I learned to challenge that voice in my head. Instead of letting it pull me into a spiral of self-doubt, I reminded myself that her words were her perspective, not an absolute truth.

4. Separate Fiction from Reality

The mind loves creating stories. Have you noticed how we can replay an event over and over, each time adding new layers of “what ifs” and assumptions?

This happened to me. My mind turned my friend’s comment into a full-blown narrative about my inadequacy. But when I stepped back, I saw the reality: her opinion was just that—an opinion.

Life isn’t a movie. It’s not fiction. Don’t let your mind create a dramatic story where none exists.

5. Live in the Present

Imagine driving a car and someone behind you starts honking incessantly. At first, it’s annoying. Eventually, you either let it go or get worked up over it.

Similarly, people’s words are like that honking. If we let them, they’ll disrupt our peace. But we have the power to ignore them and focus on the road ahead.

By practicing mindfulness and staying rooted in the present, I learned to stop letting past comments dictate my current mood.

6. Shift from “Me” to “We”

Growing up, many of us were conditioned to focus on what’s lacking. For instance, if you scored 9 out of 10 in a test, did you hear, “Why didn’t you get 10?” instead of “Great job!”

This mindset trains us to seek flaws, both in ourselves and others. But life isn’t about perfection. It’s about connection. When we shift our focus from me to we, we become less self-critical and more empathetic.

I realized my friend’s comment wasn’t a personal attack. It was an opportunity to strengthen my emotional resilience and understand her better.

The Power of Self-Love

In my healing journey, I discovered that the best antidote to the pain caused by others is self-love. It’s not about being arrogant or dismissive; it’s about valuing yourself enough to know that someone else’s opinion doesn’t define your worth.

Practicing self-love transformed how I perceived not only myself but also the world around me. I stopped seeking external validation and started finding joy and approval within.

My personal experience inspired me to create a Self-Love Course—a guide for anyone struggling with self-doubt or hurtful words. This course is designed carefully to help you:

• Recognize your worth beyond external opinions.
• Heal emotional wounds.
• Build a relationship of love and trust with yourself.

Through practices like journaling, affirmations, and mindfulness, this course helps you rebuild your confidence and rediscover joy in who you are.

Taking Support From Crystals

As someone who deeply believes in the healing power of crystals, I turned to them for support. Certain crystals are known to help with emotional healing and self-love, and they became my companions during this time.

• Rhodochrosite and Rhodonite: These stones became my companions in releasing emotional pain. Rhodochrosite encouraged me to let go of the sadness, while Rhodonite gently nudged me toward forgiveness—not just for my friend but also for myself. Together, they helped me rebuild my sense of self-worth.
• Kunzite and Rose Quartz: These are my go-to crystals for self-love. Kunzite helps open your heart to joy, while Rose Quartz fills you with unconditional love for yourself.

Every time I held these crystals, I felt a wave of calmness and assurance wash over me. It was as if they reminded me of my inherent worth and beauty.

If you’ve never worked with crystals before, I encourage you to explore them. They can be gentle yet powerful allies in your self-love journey.

Closing Thoughts: Reclaiming Your Power

That dress still hangs in my wardrobe, but it no longer represents rejection. Instead, it’s a symbol of growth. One day, I’ll wear it again—not for anyone else’s approval, but to celebrate me.

To anyone reading this, know this: You are not defined by someone else’s words. You are worthy, unique, and deserving of joy.

When you’re hurt by someone’s remarks, pause, reflect, and remember that you hold the power to choose how you respond. Use that power to rise above and make your life magical.

With love and light,
Dr. Neeti Kaushik

For more details, visit our YouTube Channel: “Nitty Gritty With Dr Neeti Kaushik”