Do You Suffer from Self-Doubt? A Guide to Empowerment

What is Self-Sabotage:

Self-sabotage is the subconscious tendency to undermine our own success or well-being. It manifests in various forms, such as procrastination, negative self-talk, and fear of failure. By recognizing the patterns of self-sabotage in our thoughts and behaviors, we can begin to dismantle these barriers to personal growth and fulfillment.

In this article, I, Dr Neeti Kaushik, delve into the concept of self-sabotage and seven common ways we inadvertently sabotage ourselves and offer practical strategies to overcome these obstacles.

Isolating Ourselves in Times of Hurt:

When faced with emotional pain, our instinct may be to retreat into solitude, shutting out the world. However, this retreat into solitude often backfires. Rather than finding relief, we end up amplifying our emotions.

Picture this: you’ve had a tough day at work, and instead of talking it out with a friend over dinner, you opt to stay home alone. As the evening wears on, your mind keeps replaying the events of the day, magnifying the stress and anxiety you feel.

But what if, instead of shutting everyone out, you reached out to a trusted friend or confidant? Imagine sitting down with that friend, sharing your frustrations and worries without any expectation of a solution. The simple act of verbalizing your emotions can be incredibly cathartic. As you speak, you might feel a weight lifting off your shoulders, the tension in your chest easing.

Rejecting Praise and Self-Worth:  

Too often, we dismiss compliments and praise, diminishing our own self-worth. I used to be guilty of this myself. When someone would compliment me, saying, “Neeti, today you look very beautiful,” my immediate response would be, “Thank you, but it’s all because of my parents’ genes and God.” By deflecting acknowledgment of my strengths, I inadvertently diminished my confidence and failed to recognize my intrinsic value.

However, I’ve come to realize the importance of embracing compliments graciously. Now, when someone says the same thing, I respond differently. I say, “Thank you so much! I am very grateful to you for seeing beauty in me. I accept the praise for myself and also acknowledge the role of my parents and God in shaping who I am. By doing so, I honour my worthiness and express gratitude for the recognition.

For learning how to accept your self-worth, you can watch my YouTube video.

Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5UhD_qJMSg

Neglecting Personal Needs:

Neglecting our own needs while prioritizing the needs of others is a common tendency. I vividly recall how my father tirelessly devoted himself to fulfilling our needs, often surpassing his own limits to ensure we had the best education and amenities. Similarly, my mother tirelessly ensured our family’s well-being, focusing on providing us with delicious and nutritious meals and attending to our every need.

Reflecting on their selflessness, I’ve come to realize that while caring for family is admirable, sacrificing one’s own needs and desires can lead to resentment and dissatisfaction. It’s essential to remember that we deserve fulfillment too. Just as my parents devoted themselves to our well-being, they also deserve to prioritize their own happiness. Ignoring personal needs may seem noble, but it can ultimately lead to sadness and unfulfilled dreams. It’s a lesson I’ve learned firsthand, and now I strive to find a balance between caring for others and nurturing my own well-being.

Fearing to Ask for Help:

Many of us are afraid to ask for help because we worry about what others might think. I used to feel this way too. I was stressed out but didn’t want to admit I needed help. Eventually, I talked to a friend and felt much better. They listened and helped me out without judging me. It made me realize that asking for help doesn’t mean I’m weakβ€”it shows I’m strong enough to admit when I need support. So, if you’re struggling, don’t be afraid to reach out. There are people who care and want to help you feel better.

Procrastination as Self-Sabotage:

Procrastination creates unnecessary stress and diminishes productivity. I kept delaying the start of my YouTube channel for so long, always waiting for the perfect moment. I worried about what others would think and if my videos would be good enough. But then, I finally uploaded my first video. Looking back, it wasn’t perfect, but it was a start. Watching it now, I see how much I’ve improved since then.

That video was my starting point, and it’s what got me here. It taught me that waiting for perfection only holds us back. Start now, every step forward is progress toward your goals.

To overcome procrastination, you can wear Carnelian.

For more information, you can visit Dr Neeti Kaushik Shop

Overcommitting to Others:

Overcommitting to others is a trap many fall into. Whether it’s saying yes to every task at work or taking on responsibilities that aren’t ours, the result is often burnout and resentment. I’ve seen people exhaust themselves trying to please everyone, even at the expense of their own well-being. But here’s the thing: it’s okay to say no. Setting boundaries and prioritizing our own needs isn’t selfishβ€”it’s necessary for our health and happiness. So, the next time you feel tempted to overcommit, remember that saying no is an act of self-care, not selfishness.

Striving for Perfection

The idea of being perfect can be exhausting. We chase after this ideal that doesn’t really exist, and it leaves us feeling inadequate. But here’s the thing: perfection is just a made-up standard. There’s nothing wrong with imperfection; in fact, it’s what makes us unique and beautiful.

Instead of trying to be flawless, let’s embrace our imperfections. They’re a natural part of being human. Our quirks and flaws are what make us interesting and relatable. So, let’s celebrate our authenticity and vulnerability, knowing that it’s okay to be imperfect. By letting go of the pressure to be perfect, we can feel more confident and creative in our own skin.

Self-sabotaging behaviors often stem from ingrained patterns and beliefs that undermine our well-being and hinder personal growth. By recognizing these behaviors and implementing proactive strategies, we can transcend self-doubt and anxiety, cultivating a more fulfilling and empowered life journey. For more information visit our YouTube channel: Nitty Gritty With Dr Neeti Kaushik

3 comments

  1. Darshana Dharmesh Mistry

    Hi. Mam…πŸ™πŸ’I am very grateful to you…I am your follower .. Today I have received lots of courage..as many of my inner feelings are being answered..
    Today I feel blessed..as got the ways to prove myself.,& specially to give myself importance…
    Stay Blessed and Happy always πŸ₯°

  2. Veenu Chaudhary

    If I made a checklist I’d tick them all!!! Knowing is empowering and you’ve done that., thank you Dr Neeti! πŸ™πŸ’• Not because you brought these habits and traits to our notice but for giving the simple solutions to overcome and beat them! That too in your inimitable simple caring doable style! Your message: “If I can do it, so can you” is not written but I’ve heard it loud and clear😍! I’m sure so have the others. Thank you 😊 dear Neeti ma’am πŸ™ and God bless πŸ˜ŒπŸ™πŸ’•

  3. Veenu Chaudhary

    Ironically, as a teacher I help my students overcome their limiting beliefs while struggling with my own. Now I simply say, “If I were my own student, what would I say to myself? How would I combat this limiting beliefs? What would I ask me to do?” I helps! πŸ₯°πŸ’•

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